My name is Jeremy McMillan.  I am 19 years old and currently attending Drury
College in Springfield, MO.  I have attended Mt. Olive Missionary Baptist Church all of
my life, so when I fell under conviction during a service there at the age of seven, I knew
that I must go to the altar and seek my salvation.  But I didn't at that time, although it
would have been easier had I of gotten it over with then.  When you are under
conviction, you live just like everyone else, but you have this sinking sensation in your
heart that lets you know you are unprepared to meet God.  This is because He wants to
save you if you will come unto him in the right and acceptable way, which is through Jesus
Christ and the Holy Spirit.  I was lost for three years, until the age of ten when I was
saved.  I  sought halfheartedly at the altar, but I never gave him my full heart to the extent
requiring salvation.
 One May night in 1989, I was seeking in a revival at my church, and , having gone
through the motions for a little while, I was ready to give up again.  My mom felt led to
ask if I thought that I would always have a tomorrow to wait for.  I thought about this,
and fell under deeper conviction.  I knelt at the altar and poured my heart out, "turned it
over to him",--and then--the change.  I remember looking at myself briefly from a
distance, and then feeling as though I had just woken up.  There was one difference,
though, I felt completely at peace with God. I got up from the altar and didn't tell anyone,
I was so satisfied.  The devil rebuked me by making me wonder if I would ever be saved if
I kept going to sleep at the altar--placing a grain of doubt in my head, but not my heart. I
kept this to myself for a year, never doubting that I was different, but I was  being tempted
by Satan, as is the case for most of one's life.  I began doubting my salvation, instead
wondering if Jesus had given up on me, and withdrawn my chance for salvation.  Because
of my unrepentance, I was doomed to hell even though I was alive. I kept going to the
altar, halfheartedly--I had no burden.
  A revival started in May of 1990.  I could not stand not knowing where I stood
any longer.  I went to the altar and begged Jesus to show me where I stood.  And, once
again, he took me back to that same spot almost a year before where he had changed me.
He made me to know that I could not be saved again.  I stood and told it to the church
and was overcome with joy. I joined it and was baptized with others who had been saved
or just told about their salvation later that month.  Although I am cranky about serving
Jesus in my daily life, I owe him nothing less than all of my life because he so selfishly and
purely gave his.